What am I doing wrong? I feel like there is nothing I can do right since my accident. I can't take the dog out, I have a hard time remembering how to fix things to eat. I feel like there is starting to be no hope for me. How can I ever fix things like they used to be?

I'm starting to feel really down lately. I feel like no one will ever accept me like I am now. No one can look past the accident and see that I'm still the same person.

Friendship Sucks.

I was always trying to be there for people. I tried to do the right things, I tried to help you out. I gave you a place to live when you would have lived on the street. I helped you find a job. I tried to do the right thing. WHY!


When I needed you guys the most. When I was stuck in the hospital for a month on life support. You trashed my house, ruined my things, put HOLES in my walls, burned my carpet. Didn't come see me once. After all of the things I did for you and tried to help you out when it was stressing me out because I had my life to take care of too. I was working full time, going to school full time, trying to raise my kid and trying to help you guys out. Why did you do this to me? Are all people like this? I've given up on the human race. All you people want to do is use me. I'll be a hermit from now on since all you want to do is take advantage. I was just trying to be nice.

Happy Birthday to me. I turn 23 today. I'm really lucky to be celebrating another one this year as I shouldn't be alive. I get to spend it with the love of my life and the only one who has been there for me through this whole things. My dog.

I feel like I am going crazy sometimes.
Nothing is the same as it used to be. I am always dropping things. I can't walk like I used to. My coordination is shit. I have a hard time remembering things. Does this get better?
I'm not who I was before. Do I even like myself now? I don't know. Will things get better when I get back to a somewhat normal rue-tine? Or will I always be stuck like this?
I'm going crazy

My one and only love. I love waking up to your dog slobbery kisses, to the fur flying hugs. I know I can always count on you when I need you. You'll always be there for me. I know you will always be the one stable thing in my life.

I love you with all my heart. With your blue eyes gazing into the food bowl silently asking for more. The little twitch you get when we used to go for walks. The excited beat you get when you see a fly. I love it all.

I miss those days hiking with you. Capturing your every moment. You love life because I'm here with you. Every day another joy. I look up to you probably more than I should. How much more simple it would be. 

How is anyone supposed to get insurance now? I have millions of dollars in hospital bill and no insurance company will take me because I still have doctor follow ups and nerve damage. What do I do now? File for bankruptcy because I can't pay you people? How is it that I am to blame when I can't pay the millions of dollars in medical bills because some drunk driver hit me.